The big day!

Well, the day has finally come for Xavier's open heart surgery.  The day started as a typical morning with Xavier with his feedings, blood work, vitals, and diaper change.  We were told that there was going to be an eco-cardiogram in the morning which finally happened at about 9 am.  The man came in and did the eco and Xavier was not pleased at all at him doing this.   When the man left he went to the nurses station to make a phone call.  I didn't mean to over hear what he was reporting, but my ears caught the phrase "his PDA is open 1 1/2 cm".  I immediately told Cindy (my sister-in-law who is staying with me) that I knew something was wrong.  The man came in to do the eco-cardiogram again.  I asked him if there was a problem and he refused to tell me, he just said that Xavier was moving to much so their pictures weren't very clear so they had to take new pictures. 
His main cardiologist came in with such a horrible look on his face and I said to him "that's not a good look you have" and he replies "no, no it's not, let me see the results of the eco-cardiogram and then I will explain".  And of course my mind started racing of what all this would mean.  Finally ten minutes later he explains what is going on. Here is what happened:
The surgeon cut my son open to go and clamp off the hole in his PDA when what he really did was clamp off an artery that leads to his lung.  Since April 5th Xavier has only been functioning with one lung!!!  It just blows my mind that they were pushing him to go home when this whole time he was struggling.  My motherly instinct was correct in that he wasn't ready to go.
I met with both the surgeon and the cardiologist to make a decision whether this surgery should be the open heart surgery to fix both his PDA and ASD and possibly the 2 VSD's.  Or should they just reopen the incision and un-clamp what they had mistakenly clamped and clamp the PDA instead.  But there is a risk that the artery would not reopen, so they would just have to turn him around and do the open heart surgery anyway.  So we decided that the best thing would just to go in and close the PDA and ASD.  The 2 VSD's are extremely difficult to reach in the heart and a lot more risky at the moment so we decided to hold off on that.
At 2 pm they took him from my arms and off they went :(  I was told that the next time I see him he would have a ventilator in him and several tubes coming from his chest.  It's horrible to think about not to mention how I will feel when I see him! :(
At 3 pm they opened him up and began the surgery.  He is in God's hands now and He will take care of him. He is strong and brave and I know he will make it through.  There are so many people praying and supporting him during this time.  There have been several people here in the waiting room to give me great support and am so thankful for those as well!  Everyone has been truly amazing!!!!
It is now 6 pm and the surgeon is done and on his way to speak to us!

Passing the time...

Chillaxin' in his bed because he is attached to the wall with all the wires! The hospital is wonderful to provide all the crib toys or whatever else he needs to play with or entertain him since he really can't go elsewhere.  He is such a trooper~he hardly ever fusses!  He actually gave me a smile for the first time today since his surgery~it made my day! :)

A New Beginning!

I decided to begin a new blog as the children and I begin a new life together.  William is no longer in the picture.  He has made some extremely wrong decisions and has chosen to live a sinful lifestyle. As much as I am saddened and going through the many stages of grief, I am learning to lean on God and trust Him more as to be the leader for me and my children.  God is and always will be the center of our family!  I am learning and have hopefully shown in the past 2 LONG months that I can do anything with God who gives me strength. 

At this moment I am sitting here in the hospital suffering along with Xavier.  Both of our hearts are hurting, but I know that in time both of our hearts will be healed by the Great Physician!  I hurt every time I see him in pain.  I wish I could just take all of his pain away and fix it, but I know all I can do is be his best advocate and give him all the TLC I possibly can.  I am so thankful that God has given me this little boy.  He has proven to be so strong and courageous!!!  God has something amazing for him on this earth and I am excited to see what that may be one day.  I am in no way happy that this has happened to him, but am trying to see some positive in all this.  If it wasn't for his long stays in the hospital I don't think that I would have bonded with him like I have.  Life at home would have been chaotic with the girls and just dealing with the whole situation with Will.  There is a purpose and a reason for everything that happens.  This time away has also given the girls some time to have fun with other children and just have fun without feeling the stress of everyday life. I strive to praise God even though trials!

I will use this as an avenue to inform everyone daily with more details on Xavier's progress as we continue to live in the hospital.  Please continue to pray for the doctors to have wisdom in what steps to take next to find out what is causing his enlarged heart, fluid filled lungs, respiratory rate to continue to be high, his vomiting, and why there is blood in his vomit. 

Please also pray for the girls as they are without their Mommy or Daddy.  Pray that they continue to stay strong and know that even though I am not there for them daily right now that I love them and will never leave them forever.  Please pray for those who are doing an amazing job taking care of their every needs right now.

Praise God for:  family, friends, the church, medicine, doctors, and laptops :)

“…after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” (II Peter 5:10)